How to train a puppy...or a husband

Marriage is a coming together, a combining of two independent entities 
into one permanent being. If you go into marriage thinking there will 
be a you and me you're wrong, there is only an us. Once married every 
thing you do is a "us" event. Every decision you make is a "us" 
decision. It always effects both partners. Getting a glass a milk from 
the frig is a us decision. The other partner may have been planning on 
using it for something else. Marriage is defined as "us" and anything 
less is not marriage.

That level of "us" requires absolute intimacy both emotionally and 
physically anything less is not marriage.  Husbands usually look for 
the physical intimacy where wives desire the emotional. For a good 
marriage there must be a balance of the two, anything less is not 
marriage.

How do you get absolute emotional commitment?  The wife has to 
initiate and lead this. Why not the guy? Because guys aren't capable 
of doing it. Guys have no experience with this kind of emotional 
experience, unless they experience it with a women. Men don't act that 
way toward other men. There is no place for men to learn how to relate 
emotionally unless it's with a women. Here's an example; two guys go 
fishing when the one gets home his wife asks him how it went. He says 
good. She says did you have fun?  He replies yes. She asks what did 
you talk about and he gives her a blank look. She says didn't you talk 
about anything? He says no. She replies you were out in a boat 
together for 3 hours and you didn't talk about anything. He says well 
I said I think I'll change to a rapala. He said i think I'll try a 
worm. I said can you pass me a Coke. You think we should move to the 
other end of the lake. Can you pass me another coke? Think it will 
rain. They're not biting very good are they. What's that smell. Dang, 
what did you eat?  That's a typical man’s conversation and you expect 
someone who converses like that to lead a couple into a deep emotional 
relationship?  It's not that he doesn't want it, he's just incapable of 
getting the relationship there. It doesn't make any difference how 
hard he tries, he is incapable. He might as well be trying to get 
pregnant. He'd have just as much luck. Sometimes men do have deep 
conversations. It sounds like this. How's the job going. Good. How's 
the family. Good. What's the wife doing. Working. What's the kids 
doing. Going yo school. That's a deep conversation for a guy.  Guys 
and gals just communicate on different levels. Imagine a guy comes 
home and says so and so had her baby today. The wife will ask was it a 
girl or boy. I don't know. You don't know, do you know it's name?  I 
think it was Robin, Robert, Pat. or Sam. Something like that. Do you know 
how much it weighed or how long it is?  No but I think it is a keeper, 
I don't think they threw it back. The emotional intimacy is the most 
important aspect of a marriage.  Do you really want him to be 
responsible for it?  Women on the other hand are ideally suited for 
it. They thrive on emotional contact. Watch several women talk 
together. Women have emotional connections down to a science. So how 
do you get a guy to connect emotioanlly with you?  Train him like you 
would a puppy. Men and puppies have much in common. They're both cute, 
cuddly, and lovable. Ok would you believe they're both easily distracted,
don't listen very well and leave a mess everywhere they've been.


If you train a puppy with love and rewards you'll end up with a happy, 
loyal, well behaved puppy who will love you unconditionally.  If you 
try to train him with anger, yelling and whipping he'll run for cover 
everytime you raise your voice. Say anything harsh or loud and you'll 
find your dog hunkered up under the couch. Sound like your husband 
when you yell or nag at him?  You'll never get your husband to be a 
good happy husband by nagging at him. Never. What does your husband 
want most out of your relationship. No not that. He wants your love 
respect and praise. Give him that he'll connect with you on an 
emotional level you can only imagine. Nag at him and emotionally he'll 
hunker down under the couch.  So if the women is responsible for the 
most important aspect of a marriage what is the guy responsible for? 
The physical intimacy. Guys are ideally suited for it. We think about 
it a lot and it requires practically no intelligence to accomplish. 
Males of the animal kingdom all over the world that are completely 
incapable of intelligent thought manage to be responsible for physical 
intimacy. You don't even have to be fully conscience. Like I said this 
is a job men are ideally suited for. Next week we'll find out what 
else men are responsible for.